Sunday, November 01, 2009

Mr. Met!




I would like to tell you that I lovingly made this Mr. Met head by hand but that would be a TOTAL LIE. My husband made it for Ben for Halloween with all the determination and care of Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.

I must confess that I had very serious doubts that this project could be pulled off in seven days. Fortunately Brian has a good dose of midwest tenacity in his veins. Unlike me, a hard core New Yorker, who would have said "screw it" within the first 48 hours.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Obstacle Illusions


The last three months have been one earthquake after another with little time for truly setting up home and nesting. That is what we plan to do until the year ends.

I have been in Strawberry Fields for about five months. Here is my assessment. I love being in the fresh(er) air even though I am just 25 minutes outside of the Big Apple. I love the relationship I am building with the Hudson River and Connecticut. I love the quiet and the sounds of nature during all hours of the day and night. I love how much easier life feels since I have stepped away from the frenetic pace I kept in my old neighborhood. I love my calm ten minute commute to and from work.

And yet there is this funny tape loop going on in my head that cannot be silenced....
"this place would be so great if there were no people in it."...or at least less of the people I see.

With a full career and family triage, I haven't ventured out to meet new people. But the times I have been in group settings leaves me totally disinterested. Maybe I'm just getting old and can't be bothered since I already have a big basket of buddies. Maybe I am just enjoying the anonymity too much. It is liberating.

Yesterday night Ben shared a description of an "obstacle illusion" he was just busting to tell us about. I now accept that term into my everyday vernacular.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Narragansett Beer - Nectar of the Gawds



My husband does not lose much sleep over brand loyalty of any kind. For reasons of politics and gender, he cannot be bothered. Unless, of course, you are talking about beer.

Brian's love, loyalty and pure devotion to Narragansett Beer began in his Rhode Island youth in 1970's. It was associated with the Red Sox and Paw Sox. And it was a working man's beer that was highly visible in the Providence area - a city he still holds great affection for.

Naragansett is a local beer with modest distribution and even more modest marketing strategies. It is not available in NYC. When we go to the Cape for the summer, my husband drinks it like mother's milk....only it is much easier to find a nursing mother on the Cape than a bottle of Narragansett.

He was leaving work in Connecticut a few weeks ago and nearly drove off the road when he saw signs of Narragansett beer available at a small package store.

I am sure that my husband was hugging the six pack he purchased like he was cradling the baby Jesus. The proprietor immediately picked up on the spiritual bond and offered to order cases for Brian whenever he wanted.

Brian has experienced so much grief lately. I would like to believe that an angel guided him to that package store and to the beer that reminds him of happier days when the Red Sox were the only thing that could break his heart.

Cheers.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Gone

This blog is becoming an obituary.

Right after midnight on September 14th, my husband's father died of a hematoma. He had just successfully finished his first round of radiation and chemo for advanced prostate cancer. He fell over Labor Day weekend and hit his head, refusing to sit in an emergency room for twelve hours "to get a band aid".

By the following Wednesday, he was disoriented and they rushed him into the ER. The first brain procedure worked. The second brain procedure didn't. My husband rushed down and never left his side in the ICU for three days and nights other than to eat or get coffee. My son and I joined him on Sunday after it seemed likely that he may not ever become conscious. Ultimately, all the tubes were removed and he passed away peacefully about twelve hours later with family surrounding him.

Being with someone when they are dying is like being with someone when they are giving birth. It's an extraordinary deliverance. A mystery. Most important, it's an honor to be with them as they enter into God's loving embrace.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Mountain HIgh

Up in Litchfield County, Connecticut on this long sunny weekend.

This place is a tonic for us. Everything is green, lush and beautiful. The Housatonic River is running higher than last summer. Driving along the waterside, you see a sprinkling of fly fishermen (and fisherwomen!) wading into the sunny center of the water with their graceful rods and lines in hand.

We choose to stay on land and hike up a small mountain in Cornwall. Nothing like hiking up a mountain to get a sense of just how out of shape you are! The three of us huffed and puffed. There were tears, laughter, much whining and ultimately a sense of pride as we got to the top ridge without killing each other. It was an amazing view of the hills surrounding us and a bit funny to be so high up that hawks were flying just 30 feet above our heads.

We needed to climb that mountain today and I'm glad we did.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

It's Ellen-eve Once Again!!



Yes folks, Ellen-eve is upon us. The cool summer evening just before my birthday. A time for reflection and gratitude. Also a time for resolutions for the new year.

Well, I did realize a few big resolutions. I left my job for a more peaceful and low key environment. With the economic downturn, it is difficult to find any college/university that is experiencing peace and tranquility but where I'm at is pretty good overall.

I moved to Strawberry Fields and into a real life apartment...which we continue to acclimate to. Ben still has his mattress in our room. His bedroom is just too darn far away for his liking.

Now I have to sit down and figure out what my hopes, wishes and dreams are for the approaching year.

I have decided however that this year's theme is:

Sacajawea!

More to come. And I wish all of you a wonderful Ellen-eve, filled with good health and happiness!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

EVI - Back on the Block

I'm not sure if any of my beloved fellow bloggers are still checking in with ole EVI. If so, just want to apologize for my extended absence.

July was a very rough month that included a major move, a sudden and sad death and major let down. Right now we are enjoying the final days of a few weeks in Truro (Cape Cod).

Promise not to bore you to tears when I get back on Sunday.

Hoping you are all in good health and good spirits. Look forward to reading up on your blogs.

XO EVI

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Strawberry Fields



Well, we are almost moved in.

You can't see the East Village from our windows, that's for sure. For the purposes of my blog and my soul, I will now refer to my new outer city location as Strawberry Fields. It's fitting on so many levels...as I will come to explain over time.

God is good -- we live below someone who plays a large grand piano and they play beautifully -- even when they screw up and play the same line over and over again. Our windows are open and the music simply floats in.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Obama's Speech in Cairo, June 4, 2009


This morning I was making breakfast for my family while listening to Obama's speech live from Cairo. At first, I went about my chores partially focused on his words. As the speech progressed, I found myself standing still and just listening to the radio. What a powerful and moving speech.

When I returned home from work today, I watched it on youtube and took it all in again. I can't explain how moved I was to hear our leader speaking so thoughtfully and respectfully to the Arab world. I have a good number of Arab/Iranian and Muslim friends and acquaintances. Living in this country can be very painful for them -- even though they are as American as I am. Obama's remarks started a healing process we haven't known since 9/11. Salam.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Fallen Hero

US Attorney General Eric Holder is dispatching US Marshals to protect abortion clinic and doctors around the country.

Holder issued the following statement:

The murder of Doctor George Tiller is an abhorrent act of violence, and his family is in our thoughts and prayers at this tragic moment. Federal law enforcement is coordinating with local law enforcement officials in Kansas on the investigation of this crime, and I have directed the United States Marshals Service to offer protection to other appropriate people and facilities around the nation. The Department of Justice will work to bring the perpetrator of this crime to justice. As a precautionary measure, we will also take appropriate steps to help prevent any related acts of violence from occurring.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Prop 8




Tears came to my eyes today as I learned that Prop 8 in California was upheld by the State Supreme Court.

Once again, same sex couples, their families and their precious children were relegated to being second class citizens.

Everyone in this country is entitled to equal opportunity for human dignity.

Jesus would agree.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

You Are Welcome

Last week I had a lovely Mom's Day. My husband and son were much nicer than I deserved. It was a perfect spring day. They took me out to breakfast and presented me with a certificate for a massage at the Open Center. We watched Ben play baseball in the West Village and had lunch at the White Horse Tavern. It was truly a lovely day.

Friends congratulated me on my fine treatment and I responded with gratitude and praise for my beloved family.

I kinda left out the part that being nice to me on Mom's Day is akin to leaving symbolic offerings on the edge of a live volcano and that my husband is well aware of this unspoken fact.

Being a mom is hard work. It's easy to feel invisible because in a sense, you are as fundamental to the life of your family as a major utility. One day last year, a slight change in the details of a holiday led to one of the most memorable gifts of my mommyhood.

It was Easter and I was extremely burned out and depressed at my old job. It was all I could do to throw together Easter baskets for Ben and Brian -- a ritual I usually perform with relish. When Ben woke up and found his basket, he looked a bit confused. There was no small stuffed Snoopy to be found. I apologized and admitted my surprise that he noticed. He then went on to describe in minute detail the contents of every Easter basket I ever gave him and our routines for other holidays. Tears of amazement came rolling down my cheeks.

Jesus,,, they really do notice!

I hope all the hard working moms out there had a wonderful Mother's Day. Cheers to you! And cheers to the kid who spray painted the Mother's Day greeting on the 9th Street sidewalk that I have posted above. I walk by it everyday and smile.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Hail Caesar!

Ben just returned on Friday from a three day environmental learning adventure with his fifth grade class. He fretted about this trip for months. Ben has never been away from us for more than an evening and even then it is usually with his local grandparents.

He was quite teary eyed as he loaded onto the bus. And naturally Brian and I felt like we were playing out a scene in Sophie's Choice. Yes, I missed him very much but more than that I wanted him to be happy and free in this new experience.

Well, Ben returned on Friday afternoon and it is no exaggeration to say that I was looking at a boy who'd taken a big step into tweenhood. He was a smiling, smelly mess as he swaggered into the car with his muddy hiking boots on. He said "Mom, I loved the camp we were at. It was so much fun and you know, I didn't miss you and Daddy like I thought I would. It was okay."

Hallelujah!

I just returned from Nino's where I took Ben and his friend Roland to chomp on pizza. Unfortunately, I had to drag them to Russo's for some Italian dinner items and Commodities for some organic food stuff. They both bravely walked along side me in the rain sans an umbrella. Bad Mommy! I was struck by their twenty minute conversation about Ancient Rome and Ancient Greece - they spoke with the authority of two young gods looking down from Mt. Olympus laughing sadly at those pathetic humans.

By the time we reached the doorstep, I was ready to give them both the Mighty Dork award. I gave them cookies instead.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

So Here I Sit in My Big Ass Apartment-To-Be.....

I'm glad we started renting this place in March and OCCASIONALLY sleep here on a weekend night because otherwise I would be in friggin culture and sensory shock when the full move happened.

I am sitting in my bedroom-to-be with three large windows open and it is perfectly quiet except for the cars passing by periodically. My husband and son are playing guitar in the living room-to-be. I can't see them and I hear them...at a distance.

This is so odd and scary. To call their names and to not be heard immediately.

Toto -- we're not in the East Village anymore. At least not tonight. My bedroom has a bathroom attached to it. What am I doing with two bathrooms? Maybe I should sublet one.

My dog Saki is staying close by me and wondering where the hell we are too.

My bedroom window faces the side of a beautiful stone church. Who in this town is a friggin Baptist? I can assure you, I'll be doing some research into that question as soon as I'm settled in during the Fall.

Please God -- let me know that we're doing the right thing living here for three years....not that I'm already counting.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Times Square Dress Rehearsal


Last night I went to see the Broadway play Impressionism starring Jeremy Irons and Joan Allen.
Many critics had mixed reviews but I loved it. My friend Mike G. joined me for what turned out to be a perfect evening. Mike G. and I have known each other since I returned to New York many moons ago. We met at work and became fast friends.

He lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn and he spends a lot of time telling me that it is only a 30 minute trip from my place to his place. I enjoy laughing robustly at this tall tale. People in Brooklyn love to tell you that it only takes 15/20/25/30 (FILL IN) minutes to get to the East Village.

And it is always a fantasy.

Other than that, Mike G. is pretty much a perfectly fabulous and loving friend. He teaches seventh grade at a tough Brooklyn middle school and enriches a lot of lives every day with his creativity and humor. He is cute, smart and dives into all New York City has to offer. Of course, I will not rest until he finds a wonderful guy and I dance at his wedding.

Both of us have crazy schedules but we try to carve out time every couple of months to get together. We decided a while ago that we are committed to signing up at the same assisted living facility and enjoy rehearsing the things that we'll be doing when we are 85 and the mini bus drops us off in the City to have a few hours of fun.

Before the play, we decided to go to the MOST RIDICULOUS BAR/LOUNGE WE COULD THINK OF AND AGREED ON A CAMPY SPOT PLANTED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE.

Yes, it was a risk. But when you are rehearsing your life as an assisted living day tripper, you laugh in the face of risk.

The campy crazy bar/lounge was GREAT. We laughed and had a ball, lingering far too long over our drinks. Mike G. made me swear I would keep the location a secret or it would get overrun with even MORE tourists and freaky locals (like us). Luckily, we slipped into the theater a few precious minutes before the curtain went up.

Afterwards, the clock struck 10 and being the nice Catholic boy that he is, Mike G. escorted me to the subway since EVI was pooped after a long work day. Not so for my beloved Mike G. - the night was still young with lots of the Big Apple left to bite.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Little Potato

March was a much more reflective month than it usually is. In the last eleven years, I've been dedicated to producing what seemed like week long festivals in honor of Ben's birthdays. Now he is eleven and big parties are being replaced by a special gift or overnight excursion. I can see that bittersweet look in his eyes as he watches his little boyhood slip through his fingertips. He still wants to want those experiences - the pageantry of balloons, a noisy crowd of kids, too many gifts and too many sweets. Tweenhood is all about going two steps forward and one step back on a daily basis.

So what does this have to do with the East Village? I've been finding it difficult to write about the neighborhood for much of the same reasons. It's coming time to go. To leave the building I've known since my birth. I don't know that this will ever be my home again -- even though I will visit from time to time and will be in the neighborhood often.

American culture tends to downplay the sanctity in a sense of place. Our economy wants us to be mobile and our character is ever onward and upward. But love it or hate it, we all sprouted somewhere and it's in our blood. In many ways, I'm at peace with our next steps. The generations of family who walked these same streets have taught me all the things they thought I should know. They've given me their blessing and I see it every day in the spirit of my son.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Heartache

My best friend Joe had open heart surgery this week. We have been good friends since 1968 when we met in 3rd grade and bonded over the Partridge Family.

He developed childhood leukemia in the early 70's and was one of the first group of kids to survive. The chemo lightened his hair permanently but it also damaged his heart...as he was to discover a few years ago.

The operation had some twists and turns that sent him back into surgery. His heart stopped twice.

He will have one more procedure, remain in ICU for a few days then off to a cardio rehab center. He is 46 years old.

We're not kids anymore. Although we are still eating the same amount of candy.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

All is Vanity, Nothing is Fair


I'm having a blog crisis.

There is so much to write about that I find it difficult to commit to one topic and post. So I sit frozen in front of my laptop and visit everyone else's blog instead. This has been going on for weeks.

Please be patient with me.

The economic downfall hit New York immediately but the downward economic "real feel" has taken a few months. Well folks, thousands of people in the NY area lost their jobs in the last five months. Stores are selling items at up to 70% off in spaces that demand high rents. Small businesses are going out of business everywhere around me in the East Village.

Except for my blessed hair stylist at Swing.

Luis and his partner Caroline have a cozy, ecofriendly salon that caters to East Villagers and the devotees that followed them here from Brooklyn. It's a very warm, neighborhoody place and that is why I will go there forever and ever. They also use organic products and since I, EVI, need to work hard (cough, umm) at keeping my bouncy thick brunette hair ummm staying bouncy and brunette, then organic is the way to go.

So I asked Luis how business was going. He said it was brisk. Lots of people coming in to get their hair styled for interviews, networking events, or just trying to look better than everyone else as a means to survive the rounds of layoffs.

There is something very New York to me about the importance of looking good -- even in the face of doom.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Gentleman Peeler


Joseph Ades at work in Union Square, demonstrating his precision potato and carrot peelers.

Note from EVI - I frequently passed this fellow at the Greenmarket in Union Square. He finally showed up at Tompkins Square Park Green Market and did his thing - it was like performance art. I bought a peeler immediately and it is all he said it would be!!! Enjoy the following obit from The Villager:

He serves up potato peelers with a slice of style

By Kara Bloomgarden-Smoke

On any given sunny spring day at the Union Square Greenmarket, a large crowd gathers around Joseph Ades. Known as the “Gentleman Peeler,” Ades wears classic tweed suits and silk ties, sits in a low crouch and demonstrates slicing and peeling potatoes and carrots with an ordinary-looking peeler. In addition to simple peeling and slicing, Ades demonstrates how to use the peeler to make “real, three-sided French fries,” slice carrots in flower shapes so that “your kids will eat their veggies,” and make easy, shredded carrots.

“Right-handed or left-handed — or, like a politician, underhanded — these peelers work,” says Ades, in his British-accented sales pitch. Ades boasts that he is the only person who sells the Swiss-made, stainless-steel tools.

“One for $5 or five for 20 — you can’t get anything else from Switzerland for $5! A Swiss army knife costs $70.”
When I asked for an interview, Ades pointed to a laminated Vanity Fair article.

“I’m spoken for, love,” he said. “[Vanity Fair writer] Howard Kaplan writes about me.”

“Five pages in Vanity Fair — Julia Roberts on the cover and me inside!” Ades told the crowd during his afternoon pitch.

Ades was profiled in the May 2006 “Green issue” of the magazine. The profile describes his habit of drinking Veuve Cliquot Champagne at the Pierre, where he was a regular. When wealthy patrons of the Pierre inquired into Ades’s profession, he said he sold potato peelers. The patrons assumed he was joking until they saw him hawking his signature product on the street.

Ades, 74, came here from England more than 10 years ago. At age 15 in his hometown of Manchester, he learned the art of “grafting,” or selling and demonstrating products. He also learned never to underestimate a small amount of money.

Ades stores his inventory in the maid’s room of his Park Ave. apartment. According to an obituary in The New York Times, artist Estelle Pascoe, Ades’s wife, passed away last fall.

Ades can be found at the northwest corner of Union Square’s north plaza on most Greenmarket days, but he also sells his peelers on various corners around the city. Both New Yorkers and visitors photograph him and post the pictures on blogs as a way to convey an authentic New York experience. He has also been featured on fashion blogs for his dapper outfits.

During his pitch, he often dismisses the idea that his demonstration is simply a trick. “This is not Times Square, this is Union Square,” said Ades. “If this was a scam, I wouldn’t still be here.”

After watching the Gentleman Peeler at work, I decided to buy a peeler myself.

“You convinced me,” I said. “Can I convince you to let me ask you a few questions?”

Ades agreed and told me to come back that evening at 6, but by 5:30, the only trace of him was a stray potato peel on the sidewalk.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I hate stupid chocolate...




...but I decided to make chocolate chocolate chip cookies anyway because I thought Ben and Brian would enjoy it. It came from a recipe from Rosie's Cookie Book. Rosie's Bakery are the wonderful people who baked my wedding cake over 19 years ago when I lived in Cambridge MA. It is a wonderful place.

But these cookies sucked. Yes, they were chocolaty and yes, they had a wonderful light and fluffy texture. But they had no soul. Brian and Ben ate them but they missed the old southern chocolate chip recipe that Brian's grandma baked throughout his childhood.

I would not usually take the time to write about this stuff but there were so many dam steps to this recipe and I was so friggin diligent. Plus I don't like chocolate. It brings me down. Well...unless it's chocolate chip mint ice cream.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

New York City....

is colder than a well diggers butt these days.

I'm over it.

Can we please have a break and hit say...35 degrees? This City can't handle frigid weather. It refuses to submit to the change in fashion that is mandatory for survival in arctic weather patterns.

I'm beginning to want to hibernate.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

One Day I Woke Up....

and my little baby suddenly looked like he is the lead singer in a British rock band. What ever happened to Thomas the Tank Engine?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

So I'm wondering why the crosstown bus isn't showing up....


and then someone coming from the west side let's the crowd at the bus stop know that a plane just crash landed into the Hudson River and is floating a few blocks north of my son's school.

The landing was miraculous as was the rescue effort. How in the world everyone survived is beyond me. The "good fortune" to crash land near the New York Water Taxi docking area...what are the chances of that? Or the chances of not crashing into the George Washington Bridge -clearing it by 1000 feet. Unbelievable. The pilot showed great leadership in great crisis.

Life went on as usual just a day later. ..It's a post 9/11 world. Luckily we have an Obama administration to help us navigate our own crash landing -- we'll all have to help in the rescue effort.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

I Know I Should Like Her....

But I feel weird about her candidacy for the next senator from New York. Is this part of the "change we can believe in" or more of the "meet the new boss, same as the old boss"?

It takes a certain level of entitlement to seek this position without serving as a public servant/ or visible public advocate beforehand. At the same time, her media draw may be something New York politicos think will serve the state.

Isn't there anyone else?

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 Bitter and Sweet

2008 was a tough year for me.

My mettle was tested to the limit professionally. I came out of it stronger, wiser and recognized for my value. If we could only become wise without the struggle!

Cancer scares - some real, some mistaken. some battles won, some battles lost.

One brother's new union not recognized by law, one sister divorces.

A decision to move on from my little East Village apartment in 2009 in search of space, quiet and nature.

The economy collapses. In terms of my sisters and brothers, three out of five lost their jobs - an investment banker, a marketing research expert, a top magazine editor.

Then November came and the spirits that built this beautiful country came alive again.

We have tremendous challenges ahead and I look forward to being part of the solution.

Cheers to all of you! May the New Year bring you good health, courage and much laughter.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Missing Link

I woke up at 6 am to share a cup of coffee with my husband before he headed off to work.

As is his custom, I watched him jam whole slices of bacon into his mouth.

During my second cup of coffee, I sat across the table from my lovely tween son Ben.

As is his custom, I watched him jam whole slices of bacon into his mouth.

Why don't males like to bite and chew food in the morning?

Ben's response "it tastes more bacon-y when you jam it in your mouth."

My husband nodded in agreement like Yoda.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Pristine

I am sitting on my couch writing by the light of my beautiful funkadelic, slightly slanting Christmas tree.

It is almost 11 p.m. and snow is falling gently across Tompkins Square Park.

I love that park like it's a person.

It is quiet outside, except for the sound of taxis driving by and the sound of stray voices scattered here and there.

I feel like I've slipped inside the soul of the city.

Just for a little while.

And it's blissful.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Where the heck have I been?

Hey.

Still getting used to the job, the commute, the new routine picking up Ben blah blah blah.

It's warm here in NYC. At least for today. I can't believe that Christmas is just 10 days away.

I don't feel it right now.

But I will once I turn on the lights of my Christmas tree which is taking up 15% of my living room.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Am I Friggin Hallucinating?!!



Has the Obama Era already kicked in?

I woke up this morning, looked out the window and my head started to spin. Avenue A has bike lanes on either side of the street! At first I thought it was a prop device for yet another Law and Order episode. But it looks too legit.

Folks, this is a friggin' miracle. My little family has spent so many years biking at our own risk here in Gotham City!

What next?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Turkey Business


I finished preparing the brine for the turkey and threw the bird right in -- breast first as they say.

Folks - I promise, it's one of the best ways to prepare a turkey. With all the turkeys I've roasted you'd think my favorite part of the bird would have evolved from being the wing. What can I say...it's a decision I locked into in second grade and I've never looked back.

Have a Peaceful and Content Thanksgiving. Let's remember all the military families who are without their mothers, fathers, sons and daughters tomorrow. If you have any ideas or contacts on how to help them - please let me know! I can't seem to find a way to help.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!! PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA!!!

We are hanging out the windows celebrating with the crowds out on Avenue A and Tompkins Square Park - cheering, howling, clapping, honking their car horns, lighting fireworks, and shouting out our gratitude and pure joy over this historical and blessed day!!!

Monday, November 03, 2008

CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN



"Mommy, I don't understand why adults keep talking about if a person is black will other people vote for him. What difference does it make what color someone is or if somebody is a boy or a girl? It just matters if they are the best person for the job. Why do adults waste time talking about this stuff?"

--- Ben, my ten year old son

He'll be coming with us when we got to vote tomorrow. We always bring him to vote. It's important and we want him to know it's important.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Life on Two Acres Meets Life on 450 Square Feet



This week I had the great fortune to meet Jodi aka Life on Two Acres. I'm pretty sure that Jodi responded to the second blog post I ever wrote somewhere back in August 2005. We've been following each others blogs ever since.

She suggested we meet at Joe's Coffee in the West Village - - which just proves that you could stick this woman in the mountains of Virginia or the middle of NYC and her good taste would always prevail.

Jodi and her husband (also a super nice person) obliged me as I dragged them from the West Village to the East Village. I'm sure I proved that native New Yorkers are the worst tour guides on the face of the earth.

I have always found Jodi's blog to be a comforting and authentic space to go to. She writes about her life and surroundings without pretense. It's through this lense that I see her sons, her home, the beautiful Virginia countryside, her beehives, her buckets of strawberries, her travels and all that we share as two women living at the same time, in the same country with much of the same joy and grief that life has to offer.

It's poetry. And it's beautiful.

But don't ask for a taste of the homemade strawberry jam or honey she gave me because I'm not sharing.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Worried....

It's been a while since I've felt unsure about how to deal with an issue when it comes to my son.

Ben has always been a very good student. Fifth grade is a big jump at his school. Work becomes more demanding and the adjustment has not been easy for him. Until this year, he never needed to review his work before handing it in and by not doing so, he is not seeing the usual grades he is accustomed to.

Today my husband picked him up at school and Ben burst into tears over a math test result. He was so upset he forgot to bring home some of his school books needed to complete his homework...

I wish I knew exactly what to do. All I can think of is to focus on his skills in terms of keeping organized and reviewing work before handing it in.

How much do you push and how do you know when they are doing the best they can do?

Monday, October 20, 2008

TED

I just got wind of a great website called www.TED.COM

It has the most thought provoking presentations and lectures. Each about twenty minutes long.

It's like giving your mind a milkshake. Check it out!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Viva Viagra!

...or so my son sang as he ran naked down the hallway with his towel flying over his head. He just jumped out of the shower to catch precious innings of the Red Sox play off game.

This is the fall out of a ten year old boy watching ESPN during any key sports games. He is battered with Viagra and Flomax ads to the point of nausea. But does he understand what these drugs do?

So I asked about Viagra and got this response - given to me after a thoughtful silence...

"Well mom...Viagra, I think, blocks illness...while making you look more attractive."

Viva Viagra!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Autumn in New York....

I love this time of year. Finally a crisp day.

The leaves have the slightest hint of yellows, reds and browns.

We are heading out to a gathering of friends up in Connecticut. The same NYC friends we see everyday. Only this time we won't be talking, walking and drinking coffee at the speed of light as we jump onto the subway or grab a cab.

We will sit together relaxed and capable of completing a full sentence.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Sex In the City - March of the Tin Broads

A few weeks ago, I went out with my friend Mike for a night o'fun in the East Village. It had been a long time since I wandered the streets after 11 pm (even with my husband).

Much to my surprise, I witnessed a phenomena that made me laugh and scared me at the same time. Down every street DOZENS and I mean DOZENS of young women in super high heels and short fashionable dresses were marching down the street - usually four or five abreast of each other. Each one walking in time with the others.

At first sight of this marching brigade of gals I thought "oh isn't that funny, college girls reenacting the opening scenes of Sex in the City." ....but then they were everywhere...like an army of robots..a military infiltration of high heeled Carrie Bradshaws.

At one point I was wondering what would happen if one wall of girls rounded the corner and marched head on into another. Who would flinch? Who would stand still in her 5 inch heels? Or would it be like the days of Napoleon where soldiers marched right into each other with their bayonets pointed?

As I witnessed the brigades of stiletto heeled beauties pass me by in waves, I prayed silently and earnestly... "Ladies, may you all get laid tonight - the sooner the better - just so you can get off your aching feet!"

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

New Chapter

Sorry I've been out of the loop.

Since my last post, I had to decide among three great job offers. Each place had something wonderful about it and would lead me in a unique direction professionally.

After much thought, I decided upon a position that will take me a few miles out of the City. Moving out may be part of the equation...and we are pretty okay with that. At this point, the cost of living and extreme gentrification of my little East Village feels like....the time has come to break up and just be friends.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Is it just me....

...or are we spiraling into an economic depression? How many more times am I supposed to believe the bullshit that Wall Street and Corporate America are shocked and stunned by the nosedive the economy is taking.

The writing was on the wall over a year ago....

"Get government off the back of business" McCain....sure buddy but first let the American people take on the corporate debt as never before while paying for a pointless mutilating war. I can't believe my tax money is going towards this crap.

Whoever does not believe that this country is run by a corporate oligarchy is kidding themselves.
The American Empire is drawing to close. Looking forward to discovering what the "new normal" will be.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Okay...so I haven't done a f*ckin thing all day....

Well Ben and Brian are camping and I have 48 whole hours to myself!!! I packed them up and sent them on their way this morning. I then proceeded to pour myself a cup of coffee and draft a "to do" list. It went something like this:

EVI To Do List

go to the gym
do the laundry
go to the green market buy groceries
go to duane reade (drug store) get batteries
meditate
go see the Dark Knight w/ Mike G
purge Ben's room of old toys

And now a look of what EVI actually did

bought a lot of songs from ITunes
listened to them over and over and over again
did a little bit of laundry
got a call from my friend Winsome
ate lunch with Winsome and her kids at life cafe then goofed off at Tompkins Square Park with them
downloaded a show from the first season of MAD MEN because I wanted to see what the hell people were talking about.
watched it
walked my dog around east village
came home and fell asleep
made two beds
started writing this post while listening to classical music
got a call from Mike to go see the Dark Knight

I am such a friggin goof off. Blame it on arrested development. I hit eight years old and I stayed there.

When the Walls Come Tumblin' Down....

Lot's of friends losing jobs on Wall Street this week...friends with kids, tuitions and mortgages.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

It was seven years ago today....

Today I woke up and went about my day. Brian woke up at the crack of dawn and got coffee going. I soon followed by jumping into the shower and jumping out to make breakfast and get Ben into a wakeful state.

There were a number of features about 9/11. We listened to some but I could see that Ben was getting unsettled so I shut the radio off for while. Ben needed to be at school a bit earlier since he serves as an acolyte during chapel....Ben is agnostic at best but he enjoys the pageantry of mass, especially when he is carrying a large flaming candle or swinging a large crucifix on a stick up and down church aisles like a misplaced pirate.

Why didn't I wake up with the same sick feeling I usually do on the anniversary of 9/11? I suppose the cloudy gray weather threw me off. It's those sunny, crisp days that make me feel sick and sad.

The twin lights are up. I hope they always have them there.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Summer Love

Today I returned to the Union Square Farmer's Market to do some quick shopping before the remnants of some wicked hurricane hurls its way up the coast toward NYC.

I have something to confess. I always get a bit depressed at the end of the summer months because that means the tomatoes will be going away for a while. Eating a good red or yellow tomato can be a religious experience. Feeding family and friends good tomatoes makes me feel grateful and closer to God.

Alas, September always arrives and my tomato romance must come to an end until next summer. Apples and squash just feel like dating down.....

Sunday, August 31, 2008

EVI returns from planet vacation

Whew! Two and a half weeks of no technology, no cable, just ocean, bike riding, hiking and sleeping in a secluded cottage on a country road WITH NO TRAFFIC.

Truro was a very welcome respite for me this year. I had no idea that 2008 would be such a major drag. I had lots of time to decompress and make some MAJOR decisions in SILENCE.

Every time I went to the beach, I made a point of running into the water as soon as I got there. It felt like a baptism every time. Nothing like the mighty power of the Mama Atlantic to slap some sense into you. And it did.

I loved the sensation of submerging myself into cold salty water as the waves swells rolled past me-- a force that couldn't give a shit about the day to day worries that piled up in my life for last six months.

It's nice to be able to check on all my blog friends. Especially one down in Louisiana who is getting ready for the storm that's brewing.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

So that's how babies are born...


Ben had his yearly physical this week. Last year when Ben turned nine, his doctor suggested that we begin to discuss puberty with him.

Keep in mind, my son still marches around the house naked with the total abandon of a five year old. He can frequently be found standing in front of the TV nude with a long forgotten bath towel at his feet, far too mesmerized by ESPN to realize his position in the time/space continuum.

A pre-teen wrap session?! Ben would have none of it. So we moved on.

Ben is now ten. He is a big tall boy for his age (in the 98 percentile - where he always is).
His wonderful fabulous doctor suggested that we begin to discuss the birds and bees with him.

I just don't see it happening, but I had my husband take a crack at it.

Ben said he didn't want to learn about the birds and the bees because he already knows about it.

Reproduction according to Ben:

"A mommy and daddy sleep in the same bed. A mom gives the daddy the eggs, then a mommy gets pregnant and a baby pops out of mommy somewhere down there."

What do you mean "gives the daddy the eggs?"

"I'm not sure about that part. But who cares."

Better luck next year.

Friday, July 25, 2008

A Word to the Wise....

Don't EVER do yoga when you are in a bad ass mood and hate the world. You just might fuck your knee up and pull a muscle in your lower back...why didn't I find solace in drugs or alcohol like the rest of the genetic pool I hail from?!

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Kids are Alright

My professional life is keeping me super duper busy these days - - away from the many blog updates I would love to share. So time for a bit of catch up.

Years back when Ben was a little less than two years old, I brought him to a dinner party at the home of some friends in Brooklyn. They all thought him utterly adorable - which he is - and said he looked like a little angel with long auburn curls.

I stared down at my sleeping son, splayed out on their couch with his belly hanging out of his tee shirt, and I responded with total honesty...."Really...a little angel? When I look into my son's eyes I feel certain that he will grow up to be Keith Moon....hopefully a less excessive version."

My friends were shocked and could not understand how I saw that in him.

Fast forward to 2008. My son Ben is ten. He is OBSESSED, OBSESSED,OBSESSED with The Who. My husband brought him to get his haircut at the Israeli barbershop around the corner. Ben opened a rock book pointed to Keith Moon and said "please cut my hair EXACTLY like that!"

A mother always knows.

Ben wants to be a Mod. He has asked for purple round sunglasses and feels certain that I have the ability to SEW him a British flag jacket (note Pete Townsend above). He had Brian take him to Ben Sherman's in Soho to buy a tee shirt with the Mod target design on it. How did he even know where to find such things?!

He spends countless hours on YouTube playing "air" drums to Who clips.

And of course I will oblige him.

The vendors on St. Mark's Place have the sun glasses and I will order him the Union Jack jacket...all in time for the first day of school where absolutely no one in his class will know what the hell he is talking about...which is just another day in the life of my beautiful, quirky boy.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Help Me Beet the Habit!


Every time I see beautiful beets at the green market I fall in love with them. Beets are my favorite color. They are tastey. So I buy them....and proceed to watch them rot in my fridge. It's becoming my little ritual.

How do you cook beets? I like to eat them cold maybe with dressing on it. Any ideas? Help save innocent beets from dying in my fridge!

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Fourth of July



Remember that song from X? I always loved that song.

Yesterday was a quintessential NYC day for us. We got on our bikes and rode over to the East River Park. Tons of families were out there grilling and relaxing - just a huge mix of everyday people. There are these tents you can set up - basically a roof on four poles that everyone seemed to have. Seeing all these families and friends together made me wish that I was at a gathering like that myself. I'm sure my mother and her family did the same right along this park years ago.

We proceeded down the pathway that takes you passed the Manhattan Bridge, the Brooklyn Bridge and South Street Seaport. At that point, we navigated our bikes into Chinatown for a stop at Dim Sum GoGo. If you come to the City - you must go there. It isn't fancy but it also isn't intimidating (as in you must speak fluent Chinese to enter).

They have a standard menu which we forgo for the one page dumpling menu where you can check off what you might like. Each order of dumplings has about three or four dumplings that are delivered to you in a bamboo steam basket. We usually get two orders each of some kind of shrimp, chicken, veggies and fried pork dumplings. Basically, the waiter comes to our table with two towering columns of bamboo steam baskets....we are not a proud people.

After lunch, we got back on our bikes and rode down to Battery Park where we were joined by the rest of the population of NYC. It was packed - but again, I just loved seeing everyone. I love New York. I love the diversity of class, race and ethnicity. As I get older, my love of this city has become deeper and more personal. On these sorts of days, you feel the love returned.

So it's getting hot and we keep on riding. Ben is being a real sport. We ride along the Hudson River and reach the West Village, where we cross over and ride into the East Village. There we celebrate at Ben and Jerry's over well earned ice cream cones. Later that night, we barbequed hot dogs and watched the Macy's Fireworks on our roof.

Nice Day in the Big Apple.

Friday, June 27, 2008

The Blind Leading The Blind


Today I was coming home on the L train when I noticed a young woman beside me playing solitaire on her ipod or something that looked like an ipod.

I'm sorry but how the hell do people play card games, video games, watch movies and read the friggin newspaper on screens that are essentially two inches high and three inches wide?? Why put yourself through that hell? I'd rather daydream.

Why would I watch a movie or t.v. show on a screen as small as the palm of my hand - - or smaller? It just amazes me how much time people spend on their technology. It frequently seems like communication that is less about content and more about technology.

Just tons of noise and visuals being pumped into our eyes and ears non stop.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Remember Me?!!

Short staffed and work has been non stop for quite some time. Not fun. Not fun at all.

I miss all my beloved blog friends.

Went on a tour of Ben's new day camp. It looks pretty nice. He seemed to be warming up to it in his shy way.

Glad to be back.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Now THIS is New York

It's 6 pm.

I'm sitting by my front window and there are about 300 people across the street learning how to salsa together in Tompkins Square Park. The instructor is guiding them from one step to the next. To see all these people moving in time with the salsa and instructions echoing across the park is beautiful.

It looks like they are moving into the Rumba! Now I want to take lessons.

I'm on my own this weekend. The boys are up in Boston making a pilgrimage to Fenway Park so I'm flying solo.

As my first act of defiance, I woke up at 8:05 (about 11 am non childrearing time). I walked Saki all over the park and hung out with my friend Martin for a while. He is an artist and a surfer.
I did a few chores then took Saki out to check out the...

UKRANIAN FESTIVAL on East 7th Street afew blocks away. My dad is part Ukranian and spent many years as a child living on or near 7th street.

I dropped my thirsty dog home and went to St. Mark's Place to watch the Dance Parade that began somewhere in Chelsea and shimmied down to Tompkins Square Park. That parade did me a world of good. There must have been a zillion different dance troupes, dance schools, dance groups and a few dancing drunks shaking their groove things for blocks and blocks.

What I LOVED best about it was that the people dancing all had different bodies - sure there were the lean and tall legions but they were way outnumbered by the wiggily, jiggily let it all hang out baby brigade. There were disco dancers, followed by South American traditional dancers. There was a group of black women in black unitards and plumed masks on roller skates doing disco moves. At one point I saw a guy in traditional Greek costume hanging out with a woman who was one of the multitude of bellydancers who showed up. It was just insane, sloppy and great.

They all marched into the park where...they danced some more! At the water fountain of the three graces - three women each wrapped long wide red pieces of cloth around the sculpture and then wrapped themselves in it, moving position very slowly while someone played the violin. It was cool!

After parade watching, I got a slice of pizza and went to the gym....you read that right. Then I wen to Trader Joes and came home and plopped myself down. In two hours I'll be going over to the Pearl Theater on St. Mark's to see the Importance of Being Earnest.

It's a good day in New York.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

My Baby

Today I walked down the stairs of the subway en route to pick up Benjamin after work. I'm going into week two of a crummy sinus infection and work continues to drain the joy out of me these days.

I walked by the magazine stand on the platform and glanced at all the gossip magazines that seem to rule our culture. Don't people get bored sucking in all that garbage? I take it too seriously.

I looked over and saw the front of the New York Times and it showed a pair of Chinese parents who made a make shift cover of cardboard around their eight year old son's face. He was dead. A victim of the earthquake. It looked like he also had a blanky they brought to comfort him on his journey home. They sat together tenderly attending to him. Doing right by him.

So many of these families have only one child in China. I can't imagine the grief hanging over these communities.

Needless to say, my job and health woes began to shrink down to their proper scale. Here I was running to pick up my beautiful son. And I was dam grateful.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mommies Rule Daddies Drool!!


.....Or so my son Ben claimed this morning.

It is Mother's Day -- a day which is part of my holy trinity (Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, My Birthday). After 18 years of marriage, Brian stands at the ready with flowers, cards and a gift - - all the tools necessary to feed the beast that is Mommy!

Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mommies out there. You make the world go round.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Yep. That's what I did.

I was making the rounds and read writermama's most recent post (see link to writermama in the column to the right). Check it out.

It's an interview with some local downtown friends of hers who chatted a bit about life and style back in the late 70's/early 80's when the big apple was a lot grittier.

For me - nightlife began in 1980. Going to Danceteria, the New Peppermint Lounge, CBGB's. Having wide streaks of purple running through my thick dark hair. Army boots, Doc Martens, heavy black eyeliner, used tweed coats with big black guy belts. Impromptu huge parties in warehouses downtown. Wearing about fifty black rubber and silver bracelets on each wrist. The music, the nightlife and the fashion felt so sloppy, beautiful, interesting and alive.

The feeling that anything goes. What the hell feels better than that? I can't see that here anymore ... that feeling is the key to paradise. There isn't a day I didn't cherish it.

A good friend gave me sage advice. She said, "You didn't lose anything. You are your own East Village."

God knows I'm tryin'. Sometimes I just feel like the Cross Bronx Expressway.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Free Love in the Park

Don't be fooled. It is very easy to have a personal relationship with a park. This weekend I got to spend some precious time across the street in Tompkins Square Park. How spoiled I am to have this beautiful green square to look out on every day....well maybe the noise of Avenue A balances it all out.

The other day I was walking Saki through the park. The volume of blossomed tulips was extraordinary. Red and yellow beautiful tulips everywhere and so densely planted together. It almost looked like an error in landscaping. Either that or the bulbs were planted months earlier by someone on speed. The daffodils made a strong second showing. Regardless of the back story, I still enjoyed the flower explosion.

I'd also like to confess that I have become an owner that chats with their dog while walking around in public.

On Friday evening, Brian, Ben, Saki and I went out to the park to shoot some hoops at the corner of the park by 10th and B. The sky was a deep blue violet and the courts were lit by the dim gold lighting that goes on as the sun sets. I felt very happy to be exactly where I was, doing exactly what I was doing. It's been a long time since I've felt that way. It was one of those zen moments that comes out of nowhere. Moments of unintentional bliss.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Shakespeare's Birthday

.....is today. And for that reason I consider it a personal holiday. Even if I must go to work.

Work.

It is feeling very work like these days. Feeling more like "a job" than work. Very sad.

And yet I remain stubbornly hopeful that I will one day soon resume my usual custom of skipping to work.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Cool

If you look to the right of this post, you'll see a list of bloggers I read quite a bit. One of them is
Writermama. I really enjoy her blog about city life, librarian-in-training life, writing life and mama life.

Every Monday she posts a Monday style post. Most of the photos are girls and guys on the street - mostly downtown wearing something neat. These posts have made me more aware of what people wear as I take my long subway ride to work from downtown to way uptown.

The verdict is that every day New Yorkers dress cool and with great style. I would wager that they dress cooler than any other city in the world. And it isn't only one type of cool. The diversity of class , age and ethnicity make it even more fascinating to me.

A good reason...a great reason to love New York.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Recession? I think so!

I am a woman who enjoys cooking. It is probably the one thing that I do without looking twice at the cost.

Boy is that a thing of the past.

Every time I go to the grocery store (from the glamorous Citeralla to the crunchy Commodities to the supermarket of your choice) I have become more and more amazed at the prices. Orange juice costs $5, cottage cheese $4.50 - I went somewhere and saw lemons for $1 each? Are you fucking kidding me? I think it's time to grow my own lemon tree.....

Which brings me to my backlash strategy. I am so going to the greenmarket now for everything I can...even meat - which I never did. I'm also seeing more meat/poultry at the Union Square market. I'm trying to cut the shipping, packing, gas overhead out of my grocery bill and hand my cash over to local folks....I'd rather they had it any way. Driving it down from upstate NY has got to be less than shipping it from CA.

I saw a small container of guacamole at Whole Foods priced at $8.99.
Whole Foods can kiss my ass. Where did those avocados come from - Mars?!! Were they hand picked by Christian Bale and placed in a wicker basket that was Fedexed to NYC?
I think not.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Ben Ten

Yep. My baby has entered into the double digits just a few days ago.

We celebrated with his band of cousins and grandparents singing/shouting Happy Birthday to him.

The cake was HUGE. I ordered a 12 inch cake that looked a helluva lot more like a 16 inch cake that was six inches high. Basically it appeared to be a Dr. Seuss cake. Something you might see eaten in Who-ville. The outside was chocolate ganache with a devils food cake and chocolate mousse filling....I am not a fan of chocolate but even I enjoyed it. We ordered it at Ciao for Now on East 12th Street between Ave. A and B. They did a teeeeriffic job.

We gave Ben an electric guitar, an Epiphone - "like the one John Lennon had". I realize I may live to regret this purchase but I married a musician so I stand unafraid.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Cooperstown


It's Spring Break!! Two weeks of keeping my son entertained while not losing my job!

We finally decided to bite the bullet and head on up to Cooperstown, NY for three days. I'll be honest, the prospect of devoting my life to the Baseball Hall of Fame for 72 hours seemed less than promising.

And yet it was wonderful. Cooperstown, New York is a quaint small town sitting on the edge of Lake Otsego - about four hours north of New York City. I love going places off season - whether it be Cape Cod, Europe or Cooperstown. The air was crisp, the lake clear and beautiful and the surrounding hills (foothills of the Adirondacks I suppose) pristine.

Upstate New York is stunning. You can see how artists fell in love with the landscape and writers continue to be inspired here. The Native American spirit is everywhere.
Check out the Fenimore Art Musuem and the Farmers' Museum - - they really are cool.

Coming back to the City feels less and less exciting to me. Those Cooperstown people seemed pretty happy to be nestled in the splendor of nature and the life of a small town.

I guess I would miss the Arab guys who run the bodega two doors down from me. They make me feel like I live in a small town.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hey Neighbor!!!!!

I was rounding the corner of A and 14th on my way home and for the first time in about five years I looked across the street - the east side of Avenue A.

My eyes locked onto a place that looked like a precious coffee spot. Remember when a coffee spot usually meant sixty year old waitresses, the Daily News, donuts as big as your head and cheap coffee? Not anymore baby...that went the way of the dinosaurs years ago. Even Dunkin Donuts is pimping itself out with Milky Way Hot Chocolate. What the hell is that about? Who would drink that besides a jonesing heroin addict?

Which brings me back to gramstand - the place I "discovered" today. You see that particular side of Avenue A was the home to one or two heroin hang outs masquerading as bars for so many years that I literally blocked out that part of the street from my line of vision....just a few short blocks away from me.

Now we have gramstand which is not a coffee spot but a tea spot with a website and a mission statement. The young man who sold me my coffee for $2.70 was very nice. What can I say. It's a new world order.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

A Mover And A Shaker

Some big changes at work.

My boss is moving on to the women's college for super duper smart girls in the Boston area. This leaves her job opened and a few dozen people asking me if I'll be throwing my hat in the ring.

Sigh.

Throwing your hat in the ring isn't always everything it's cracked up to be. My happiness comes in people (like the president of the college) encouraging me to consider it because they respect my work. Receiving this affirmation from so many people is a huge gift to me.

As for my hat flying into the ring....well girls....as my generation has learned the hard way, we can't do it all --- especially not at the same time. I realized this tragic fact when I had problems recalling what my son was like from the ages of two through five.

I figure I've got about three more years before he starts ignoring me - - no brass ring is worth more than what the two of us share right now.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

In Memory of Michael

Living life to its fullest isn't about
checking off thrills from a list;
It's about being fearless in following my dreams,
courageous in accepting
that some will go unfulfilled
and taking the time to savor
something as simple
as a cup
of tea

A little over a year or so ago, I tripped over a blog www.ohenrosan.blogspot.com . It was the blog created by Michael, a talented writer, photographer and zen follower. He was also slowly dying of a rare form of cancer. He took extraordinary photos of the East Village. He managed to capture its fading essence through photos of the neighborhood regulars, its buildings and colorful events in such a way that made even cynics like me moved.

He loved Japan and immersed himself in the Zen life. I so enjoyed following him on his spiritual path.

He was honest and compassionate in his honesty. I learned so much from him. He accepted his death with a grace that I cannot do justice in describing.

Michael died in January. The poem that begins this post is his.

I don't think I will ever forget him. I know that I don't want to.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Basic Training


During the weekend Ben takes an art class in Chelsea. Brian drops him off on his scooter and scoops him up afterward for lunch. Each week the ritual is the same. They pull into the White Horse Tavern for burgers and root beer....sometimes Dad's beer has less root in it than Ben's.

This location is famous for being the old stomping ground of Dylan Thomas and other formidable drinkers and writers who passed through Greenwich Village through the years.

I'm sure Brian is drawn to it a bit by the nostalgia but not totally. He's far more invested in being in an old New York bar in the afternoon when it's just the longtime bartenders, a handful of regulars and some routine news or sports show on the small t.v.

Benjamin, at almost ten years old, is a regular.

He's been going there for almost two years now - - usually on a Sunday right after baseball practice. The bartenders greet him with "hey - pitchers and catchers!"

This greeting continues throughout the year well beyond the baseball season and into the School of Visual Arts class season.

Maybe it's just the old East Village in my blood, but I'm happy to know that Brian is indoctrinating Ben into the male rituals of pub life - - the banter, the customs, the food and one day when he is over 21 - - the beer.

It's important to have a true New York bar - a pub-like bar - to call your own. A place you can hang out in the early afternoon and read the Daily News.

A special place you can be with your dad - especially when your dad is your best friend.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Lame! At Least For Now.....


We gave Ben a subscription to Sports Illustrated for Christmas.

He was thrilled and looks forward to receiving every issue. This week I pulled the mail out of the mailbox and handed it to him, taking little notice of any the items I handed off. After coming through the apartment door and throwing off our coats, Ben gave out a shout of disgust. "THIS IS SOOOO LAME!"

He turned the pages of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue looking more and more disappointed. "All these stupid girls sitting around in bikinis. They aren't even doing any sports! What a waste!" He then proceeded to toss the magazine into the recycling. I stood there speechless.

I had forgotten that the swimsuit issue even existed! Then I wondered how much longer my almost 10 year old little boy would be calling girls in bikinis lame. Three days later we got the NASCAR issue and life was as it should be.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

18 Years and Five Tiffany Pendants Later


Yes folks, the preceding title is a direct quote from the gift card coupled with the lovely necklace that my husband gave me for our 18th anniversary this morning.

I have been with Brian for twenty years. Jesus Christ. I can't believe I've done ANYTHING that long besides breathe.

And yet here we are. Together on this lifelong Outward Bound Trip along with our trusty dog and ten year old son.

Love. Loyalty. Possibility. Compromise. Laughter. The ability to bite your tongue without completely severing it from your mouth. That's what makes a marriage....at least mine.

18 is a lucky number in the Jewish tradition. God knows we've earned it! Cheers.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Old Times

I haven't been posting much because the "big job - mom gig" leaves me so exhausted for the last month that I haven't much to say to you all....at least nothing that's of any value or humor.

I know people all across this country are working hard - many much harder than I am in many circumstances. I've never been good at juggling it all. Much of my time is spent keeping the balls up in the air AND picking up the multitude that fall.

This afternoon I left work the usual time and got Ben from school. I was dead tired. When I got home I fell on the bed and the feeling of profound fatigue came over me. I was giving myself a moment to actually realize how tired I am and started sinking. I called my husband and asked when he'd be home because I really hoped he could take over soon.

Idiot me forgot that he teaches on Wednesday night (working a 12 hour day) and stays at my parent's home which is 45 minutes closer to his job than we are. I wanted to crumble into pieces.

Instead, Ben and I took Saki for a walk in Tompkins Square Park. It was already dusk and quite beautiful. Walking through the park always gives me a second chance.

Ben and I went to our favorite Italian place down the street and had dinner. The owner (who we like very much) started speaking Sicilian to a customer. I listened and understood parts of their light conversation.

Their words had a unexpected effect on me. Not the meaning - - just to hear them. Layers started falling away and I could remember how I felt to be young and clinging to my Italian grandmother's dress. It was home base for me as we traveled about the neighborhood or entertained guests unfamiliar to me. The sound of the words and the tone of their Italian disarmed me. I stared out the cafe window that looked onto the corner of my street. My eyes filled with tears.

Maybe my grandmother was reaching through time and soothing me. I miss her very much tonight. She taught me from the beginning that the deepest love can be felt just being in the company of someone. Just being with them...as they do their chores, schoolwork, writing...anything really.

Thanks Nonna - I needed a good cry and you helped me find it. XXOOO

Saturday, January 26, 2008

House Huntin'

So I've decided I will kinda stay here and kinda not.

We've been searching for a dirt cheap cottage/farmhouse near Brian's job up at a university in CT. That way we can go there on the weekends and vacations while Brian can also use it on days when he has to work or teach a class in the evening.

Maybe I'm nuts but it feels right.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

That was then. This is now.




This weekend we all went up to the Metropolitan Musuem of Art. Thanks to the wonders of technology, we split up and agreed to meet in forty minutes or so. I went off to the new photography gallery and Ben/Brian went off to the knights, weaponry and musical instruments.

My mom gives us a family membership to the Met every year. Ben has practically grown up in the Met and feels the same way about it that most NY kids feel toward the Museum of Natural History.

I've always thought of this museum as New York's wise, beautiful matron.

After lunch in the cafe, we took one last look at the medieval armor, Revolutionary War swords and ancient Japanese military head gear. After an obligatory purchase in the museum shop, we walked out into the warm sunshine of a NY winter afternoon.

Brian and I reminisced about our pre-Ben days of meeting at the Met after work on a Friday night and walking all the way home it the East Village (approx. 3000 miles - 4000 with heels on).

Brian said "Things changed in the City after 9/11. In more ways then we realized. It isn't the same place."

I'm still thinking that one over.

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Small World

I picked Ben up from a play date on Wednesday afternoon. It was the first truly cold day in a long time. We scurried down 10th street and I stopped into Kmart for some luxury items - - rubber gloves and glass cleaner.

Ben was coveting my earmuffs for the last few days so I offered to buy him a pair before we got to the cashier. He didn't take a moment to check out the merchandise before saying "Mom, I don't want to buy my earmuffs here. I want to give my money to small, local businesses. Let's go buy them from one of the street vendors."

Now this approach to consumerism has been my husband's creed forever. Only in the past year has he walked into a Starbucks (out of desperation). In all of Ben's nine years, I've never seen him take a political stand on any consumer issue that stood in between him and the desired object.

A street vendor was selling his winter goods right outside of Kmart. It was freezing and he must have been standing out there for hours. He was covered from head to toe except for his eyes peeking between a hat and scarf. Ben got his three dollar ear muffs and explained his new philosophy.

He just finished reading The Pushcart War, a children's novel written by Jean Merrill and illustrated by Ronni Solbert. It was first published in 1964. The plot focuses on a war between pushcart peddlers and delivery trucks in NYC. As traffic becomes increasingly horrendous in the city, three huge trucking companies try to alleviate their parking problems by running the pushcarts off the curb and out of business. Needless to say, the NY pushcart vendors unite and push back... so the story begins.

What Ben didn't know was the Jean Merrill and Ronni Solbert lived in East Village and were very good friends with my dad. Ronni also wrote and photographed a super cool book I Wrote My Name on the Wall (1971) profiling city kids in their words, kids who never went beyond their neighborhoods.

What goes around comes around. Especially with art.