Tuesday, July 25, 2006

You Found a WHAT WHERE?

Could someone please explain how a four foot yellow snake entered into the lobby of our front building?

I'm pretty sure that's a first in the seventy five years my family has lived here.

Granted, there is a courtyard with small gardens between the two buildings but it isn't a nature conservancy by any stretch of the imagination.

Possible causes:

1. Someone East Village drug addict just realized their pet snake is missing.

2. It's an initial sign of the impending Rapture that George W. Bush is looking forward to.

3. A scare tactic made by a maniacal real estate developer in an effort to get his hands on skyrocketing property - currently inhabited by actors, writers, social workers, artists, musicians, other nice people and pets.

Look, I'm a New Yorker. Other than household pets, my version of urban wildlife is rats, mice, roaches, waterbugs, flys and pigeons.

Snakes are not in my portfolio.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006


This Israeli war against Lebanon is scaring the heck out of me.

It is terrifying to hear stories of terrified children and adults on both sides - hiding, running out of supplies, full of fear.

And as a New Yorker, I fear what actions could be taken here to make a point.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

This Blood's For You

That was the name of the song the Christian rock singer belted out this evening in Tompkins Square Park. He had a PA system with taped background music which was sometimes enhanced by two or three actual musicians also on the stage.

About twenty people were watching - mostly fellow Christians from the fellowship headquarters near by. There weren't any cops around like there are during skin head jamborees or other impromptu performances in the park.

Why do I feel like I'm living in chapter three of The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood).

In all fairness, it is a free country and no one was trying to hit me with a baseball bat. They just don't believe that I should have control over my own body and that committed gay couples shouldn't have the right to marry and enjoy the priveleges that come with a family life.

I wonder how people would have reacted to a Muslim musical outreach? and how many police would be there?

Sunday, July 09, 2006


Italy Wins The World Cup!
They are victorious and ten times better looking than the French!!!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

How does it feel? To be without a home. Like a complete unknown. Like a rolling stone.

My son is staying with my parents for three days. After a while, frantically juggling your kid and work ceases to be cute to anyone involved. Million dollar day camp starts Monday.

At about 3pm, Brian emailed me with the realization that we had FREE TIME TO HANG OUT.
We got together and went to have dinner across the park on Avenue B. My brother told me to check out Mercadito between East 11th and East 12th. Very nice.

One problem. Where the hell was I? Avenue B looks like Brooklyn Heights. The buildings are all cleaned up. All the store fronts are swanky boutiques and cafes. Everyone at our very nice restaurant was swanky. At closer look I realized that my neighborhood is filling up with ridiculous gift stores...like the store around the corner on East 10th street with the unlimited number of flavored olive oils. Wasn't it just yesterday when no one cooked in my neighborhood and the alleged corner grocery store was neither a grocery or a store in the legal sense?

One block down Avenue B in another cleaned up building was the Tompkins Square Gospel Fellowship. I think they are related to an imported Christian youth group that recently decided to hanker down in our neighborhood this summer. These teenagers are instructed to approach children playing in the park like my eight year old son and invite him to particpate in Christian basketball camp. Blatantly approaching children without parents near them is not cool.

Hmm...what would Jesus do...I think Jesus would say "Hey guys, I understand that your heart is in the right place but the next time you go up to children under 13 without their parents present I will rip you a new asshole."

Even the Hare Krishnas, the Mormons, Jews for Jesus, and friggin Scientologists haven't pulled that stunt yet (although they will take your blood pressure in Times Square). Leave conversion issues to parents and direct solicitation of children in city parks to pedaphiles.

And leave Tompkins Square Park to children, dog runs, plants, performance art, homeless people, skate board dudes, people hanging out and drag queen festivals.