Monday, December 19, 2005

Happy Holidays!

My tree is up. I'm blasting the Christmas music. Life feels very nice.

So I've been chatting with my writing mentor who HIGHLY suggests that I focus on my manuscript and less on the dozens of diversions I've created to avoid doing so.

Time for a blog sabbatical.

I may not post for a long time but I promise to keep up with all of the wonderful bloggers I've come to know these past five months. Yes folks, I will drown you with comments so be prepared!

I wish you all love, peace, laughter and good health in 2006 and beyond.

much love, east village idiot.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Girls Rule

Today I went to buy a gift for a nine year old girl I will never meet.

I'm contributing to a Christmas gift program at my son's school that gives gifts to poor Asian children in Chinatown. One of the girls drew an angel and signed it "girl, age 9".

I spent hours roaming all the aisles of the toy department. Looking for that perfect gift for a stranger. I know there are other people who grab anything and dump it in the box at school but that kind of karma makes me sick.

I come from a half baked catholic background so I believe if I take a lot time to pick just the right gift - maybe I'll make that girl really happy.

So I bought this craft thing called Flower Power/Lightastic. You create these flower arrangements by mixing and matching different petals and leaves that come in all different colors. The flowers are plugged into a psychedelic looking flower pot that lights them up electrically. The flowers glow in your room all night - if you want them to.

More reasons why I like Flower Power:

1. It glimmery and glowy which is good for a nine year old girl. She doesn't have many more girlyhood days ahead of her.
2. You can keep on changing it into different flowers and colors so it doesn't end with your first design.

I'll never forget the day when I stopped playing with my 1973 Malibu Barbie. I loved her and her cool camper. I used to pretend she was a lead singer in a rock band and in the French resistance at the same time.

I just remember holding her in my hands and looking at her cool 70's clothes and wanting desperately to feel that same thrill I got as I revved up for our next adventure. The empty feeling was scary and sad for me.

Somehow I knew it was the beginning of the end of my childhood.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Mommyhood - Do Over

One of the drawbacks of working really hard to raise a son who is healthy, enveloped in unconditional love, optimistic and curious about life is that......


For instance, today Ben would not get out of bed. He got dressed in bed. He ate his breakfast and went back to bed. He washed his face and brushed his teeth then returned to bed to read. That's great when it's Saturday. But when it's bloody Wednesday morning and we've got three minutes to catch a crosstown bus to the westiest western part of west village - mommy get's a little uptight.

Suddenly I heard myself shouting right at him "Benjamin - get your ass out of bed right now!!!"
Now I don't curse at Ben and I don't scream at him at pointblank range. But I did both. He was startled and so was I.

Frightened, he jumped out of bed - stood right in my face and said "I'm sorry that I was in bed but is that how it is now? That you use the A-S-S word and shout in my face? Huh? Is that right?" He started to get all trembly and teary eyed.

Instead of scolding him, I scared him.

I know what it's like to be bullied as a child and it makes me sick to think I even came close to bullying my own child.

I hugged him and apologized - while reiterating my frustration with his behavior. We joked and went on with our day.

Ugh. I hate when that happens because I know that's not me. It's a memory. And sometimes memories just flick on like light switches. Luckily they can be flicked off too.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Am I doing this right?

I think I got tagged the other day by a blogger I really like. I don't spend enough time in the blog world to understand all the customs and rituals - so I'm not sure if I'm supposed to respond on my blog or leave a comment on hers. Guess I'll do it here.

Ten Weird and Random Facts about Myself

1. It takes a lot for me to think something is weird.

2. I don't think anything in life is random even when we think it is.

3. I've met Willem Dafoe, Paul O'Neill (former Yankee) and now need only to meet Christian Bale for my "hot hot hottie" hat trick to be complete.

4. I act like an A Type personality but I am a profoundly B Type personality inside.

5. I am a writer and I choose not to discuss my work on my blog - - admire people who do though.

6. I believe in the inherent goodness of every human being.

7. But I think we live in a culture that fears and is hateful to women.

8. I have no fear of any spider or bug -- but I will f*ckin' freak out if you put me in the same room with a snake of any size.

9. I love flowers and gardening.

10. I wish I could have had more children. Guess I still might be able to get one under the wire.