I"ll jump..I swear!

So I'm walking down 9th street a few weekends ago and I lifted my head to take in the warm sunshine that was gracing NYC that day. Suddenly, the sun is blocked by a row of SUV's perched on a roof ready to commit suicide.

Please - we take it back - hybrids have not signed your death certificate. Now please step away from the ledge!!!

Dazed and Confused

I have a confession to make. I have no friggin idea what the hell my gmail password is. Every time I log in, I swear that I take a stab at one of three passwords...and they are different every time. And they all work.

Is that allowed? Or am I just hallucinating? At first it really bothered me. Now I just offer it up to the gods and say "whatever" as I am once again logged in.

I got a swedish massage the other day at the Open Center in NYC. It was okay but not great. I missed my Spanish deep tissue massage guy. He borders on making the session an S & M ritual ...his motto being "sometimes a little pain in the right place can be a very good thing."

There's truth in those words.

Brian and Company

Granted, this photo is a few weeks old. What I would summarize as a snow hurricane swept through New York and left a TON of fluffy snow on Strawberry Fields. We live next to a park in the village center, so Brian, Ben and I marched into the snow and began our snow sculpting. It was still snowing and no one else was out yet except a few people en route to the post office.

My snow person was a bit more like a snow bear....a mutant snow bear. Ben choose to put his skills to military use and build a snow fort. I'd say Brian got it just about perfect with the fellow next to him. Well done!

Snow Alert

How can Virginia stand another snow storm? Thought I heard the news say that some parts of that state should expect one to two feet.

Insane.

Brian drove down to Annapolis this afternoon. He needs to be there when the movers arrive tomorrow morning. They'll be picking up a small collection of furniture we are taking from his dad's old house. This is Brian's last trip down there. The last trip for any of us. The house is sold and his dad's wife is moving back to St. Louis.

Brian doesn't notice that on these last trips down there, he always packs the shirt he wore the day his dad passed away. He was with him.

I watched as he packed it again today. The mind is a curious thing.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the snow doesn't hit Maryland until he is well on the road to NYC.

And so we begin....

I should be asleep. My holiday ended twenty six minutes ago.

The day after Christmas, we packed up and trucked up to Litchfield County, CT. Good friends of ours have a country house there that we stay at while they are away for the holiday. It is nestled in a beautiful wooded area next to a big stream and a huge hill.

On New Year's Eve, we joined a bunch of friends from the City who also stay up there for a big dinner party. It amazes me how my beautiful friend V can feed 15 people a glorious sit down dinner without breaking into a sweat. I would like to join the ranks of this rarefied group.

On New Years Day, I went for a walk down the snowy country road by the house. The stream follows the road -- and it was just the two of us. Going out for a winter walk is so invigorating. You can't help but feel hopeful about the new year ahead.

In my next post, I will discuss my latest obsession with slow cookers...and why I must have one.

Dear 2009,

How can I say this politely? Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

2010? You're looking great with or without my reading glasses on.

Looking forward to a New Year filled with good health for all, laughter in unlimited supply, time with friends, more cooking, more writing, more love....

and much more PEACE.

Cheers to all my blog friends!

love, EVI

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night...

I hope that everyone reading this post has enjoyed a peaceful and relaxing holiday. It's taken me 47 years to figure out how to do it but we've arrived.

We began Christmas Eve at the Christmas pageant at St. Luke's Church - Ben's old school chapel and my church. Was it only four years ago that Ben was one of the "we-three-kings"? It was a crisp night. The streets were wet with the fading signs of snow and drizzle that made the lights of the City glisten even more.

New York is good at making its way through the winter. And fabulous at Christmas.

We then ventured onward from the West Village to Chelsea to the home of my dear friends L and C. Each Christmas Eve, they throw a wonderful gathering for their neighborhood friends that includes the best Tex-Mex food I've ever had. It is so great to be at a party with people of all ages and walks of life. It felt like the City at its best.

After we said our goodbyes, I stepped outside and looked up to see the nearby Empire State Building in all its Christmas glory looking down on me. It felt like the embrace of an old friend. My first Christmas gift -- and it was a beauty.

We got home at midnight and fell fast asleep...even Santa couldn't wake us up.

Christmas in the City

I've been running in and out of the City for the last few days. It is such a comfort to pass through Grand Central Terminal. You can't help but linger at one of the Christmas Fair stalls, small stores or stop by one of the eateries on the bottom floor.

I feel so at home at Grand Central. As a landmark, it holds a special place in the heart of the City. There is so much to explore, so many beautiful details in its design. Everything is bathed in a golden light that can feel quite soothing as your hectic day begins or ends.

During the holidays, music plays across the grand hall of the terminal with a colorful laser show projected across the ceiling. It's corny and festive at the same time.

It's a special place. I love it.

Arlington

My father-in-law died on September 14th but his funeral and reception were held yesterday at Arlington Cemetery.

Between the elderly World War II vets and active military dying in Iraq and Afghanistan, there are about 30 funerals a day there. After you fill out the paper work they let you know the earliest date available for the service.

It was a beautiful event. My husband and son made eloquent remarks at the service although Ben began choking on his tears half way through. I was very proud of my husband Brian. He spoke with grace and thoughtfulness.

Afterward six gray horses ridden by soldiers pulled the caisson that carried the single coffin to the burial site. Military officers involved in the ceremony march behind with family members following.

They remove the flag and fold it in an elaborate ritual then presented it to my step mother in law. After the twenty one gun salute they play Taps. Some closing prayers were made and the ceremony came to an end.

It was a tough weekend. The house was officially sold two weeks ago and his widow will be moving back to Missouri in a few months to live near her two sons in St. Louis. Not having a place to go back to is hard for Brian and Ben. It feels like his father died and every sign of him was wiped away...at least it feels that way now.

Man in the Mirror

I just spent the day in the East Village. Man - what the hell has happened? It's like Chelsea with pull-ups on?!

New York ‘Loses Its Edge’

London Times columnist Stefanie Marsh suggested Manhattan has finally embraced middle American values this week, and concluded that ‘New York has lost its edge’.

The British culture critic suggested many of the city’s creative types have long opted for Berlin and London leaving bankers living in ‘shiny faceless luxury condos’ and buying US$700 Ramones T shirts from ‘super-high end boutiques’ built out of the detritus of CBGBs.

On a brighter note she noted that Manhattan’s financiers are nowadays regarded as ‘some of the most reviled people on earth’ with some clubs actively cancelling annual corporate memberships.

“We want to distance ourselves from bankers, even if they helped to set us up in the first place,” one (anonymous) club promoter told the Times, “They’re pariahs. Money is just not cool any more.”

The article appeared just as the New York Times revealed that thousands of the America’s artists have earned less in the last 12 months with almost one in five (18%) seeing their income drop by 50% between 2008 and 2009.

5,300 musicians, architects, writers and filmmakers responded to a survey commissioned by arts organization Leveraging Investments in Creativity, which also revealed that almost all artists (94%) earned less than US$80,000, despite many having college degrees.

“A lot of the artists who were reporting were telling us, ‘I live in a recession all the time, so this downturn has really not been so different for me,’ ” study chief Judilee Reed told the New York Times.

Brit in Amsterdam techno legend Dave Clarke flew into New York this week for the first time in a while and revealed he was disappointed with the City in a typical blunt Twitter post.

“In the words of Blake Baxter "New York . . .What Happened?",” Dave quizzed.

“Someone tell me where did the scene in NY go? Don't blame the Mayor please,” he added.

True Believer

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!

After years of trial and error, I have learned that the way to navigate a happy Thanksgiving meal to focus on the food and the gratitude.

Try hard to leave the politics, the religion, the past and the future at the door. I reflected quite a bit on the all of the Americans who are far far from home and trying to stay alive in Iraq and Afghanistan.

These people need to come home to their families. Let's send out a collective peace vibe.

And now for my turkey manifesto....

There is no better way to prepare a turkey than to brine it. Seriously, folks - it is wonderful every time. I use the recipe you can find on the Yankee Magazine homepage. Check it out - you won't regret it!

Wishing the world peace and peace of mind as we enter into the holiday season.

Jive Turkey

Thanksgiving is right around the corner. I'm just not into it. Too much has gone on in the last few months. People passing away, moving, new school for Ben, Ben being sad. And yet, we are all in good health, we have good jobs and a nice home large enough to hold all of our books, artwork and instruments. As a mom, it's important for me to set a tone of holiday excitement.

I wish Snoopy was real.

East Village Revisited

I went in to get my hair cut at Swing yesterday (East 10th between 1st Avenue and Avenue A). Luis is great. He and his wife run the business and it is simple, eco-friendly and welcoming. It's nice to know that the hair color I get every other month won't be making my boobs fall off twenty years from now.

It was nice to see all the familiar merchants on my block. I miss them.

Mr. Met!

I would like to tell you that I lovingly made this Mr. Met head by hand but that would be a TOTAL LIE. My husband made it for Ben for Halloween with all the determination and care of Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel.

I must confess that I had very serious doubts that this project could be pulled off in seven days. Fortunately Brian has a good dose of midwest tenacity in his veins. Unlike me, a hard core New Yorker, who would have said "screw it" within the first 48 hours.

Obstacle Illusions

The last three months have been one earthquake after another with little time for truly setting up home and nesting. That is what we plan to do until the year ends.

I have been in Strawberry Fields for about five months. Here is my assessment. I love being in the fresh(er) air even though I am just 25 minutes outside of the Big Apple. I love the relationship I am building with the Hudson River and Connecticut. I love the quiet and the sounds of nature during all hours of the day and night. I love how much easier life feels since I have stepped away from the frenetic pace I kept in my old neighborhood. I love my calm ten minute commute to and from work.

And yet there is this funny tape loop going on in my head that cannot be silenced....
"this place would be so great if there were no people in it."...or at least less of the people I see.

With a full career and family triage, I haven't ventured out to meet new people. But the times I have been in group settings leaves me totally disinterested. Maybe I'm just getting old and can't be bothered since I already have a big basket of buddies. Maybe I am just enjoying the anonymity too much. It is liberating.

Yesterday night Ben shared a description of an "obstacle illusion" he was just busting to tell us about. I now accept that term into my everyday vernacular.

Narragansett Beer - Nectar of the Gawds

My husband does not lose much sleep over brand loyalty of any kind. For reasons of politics and gender, he cannot be bothered. Unless, of course, you are talking about beer.

Brian's love, loyalty and pure devotion to Narragansett Beer began in his Rhode Island youth in 1970's. It was associated with the Red Sox and Paw Sox. And it was a working man's beer that was highly visible in the Providence area - a city he still holds great affection for.

Naragansett is a local beer with modest distribution and even more modest marketing strategies. It is not available in NYC. When we go to the Cape for the summer, my husband drinks it like mother's milk....only it is much easier to find a nursing mother on the Cape than a bottle of Narragansett.

He was leaving work in Connecticut a few weeks ago and nearly drove off the road when he saw signs of Narragansett beer available at a small package store.

I am sure that my husband was hugging the six pack he purchased like he was cradling the baby Jesus. The proprietor immediately picked up on the spiritual bond and offered to order cases for Brian whenever he wanted.

Brian has experienced so much grief lately. I would like to believe that an angel guided him to that package store and to the beer that reminds him of happier days when the Red Sox were the only thing that could break his heart.

Cheers.

Gone

This blog is becoming an obituary.

Right after midnight on September 14th, my husband's father died of a hematoma. He had just successfully finished his first round of radiation and chemo for advanced prostate cancer. He fell over Labor Day weekend and hit his head, refusing to sit in an emergency room for twelve hours "to get a band aid".

By the following Wednesday, he was disoriented and they rushed him into the ER. The first brain procedure worked. The second brain procedure didn't. My husband rushed down and never left his side in the ICU for three days and nights other than to eat or get coffee. My son and I joined him on Sunday after it seemed likely that he may not ever become conscious. Ultimately, all the tubes were removed and he passed away peacefully about twelve hours later with family surrounding him.

Being with someone when they are dying is like being with someone when they are giving birth. It's an extraordinary deliverance. A mystery. Most important, it's an honor to be with them as they enter into God's loving embrace.

Mountain HIgh

Up in Litchfield County, Connecticut on this long sunny weekend.

This place is a tonic for us. Everything is green, lush and beautiful. The Housatonic River is running higher than last summer. Driving along the waterside, you see a sprinkling of fly fishermen (and fisherwomen!) wading into the sunny center of the water with their graceful rods and lines in hand.

We choose to stay on land and hike up a small mountain in Cornwall. Nothing like hiking up a mountain to get a sense of just how out of shape you are! The three of us huffed and puffed. There were tears, laughter, much whining and ultimately a sense of pride as we got to the top ridge without killing each other. It was an amazing view of the hills surrounding us and a bit funny to be so high up that hawks were flying just 30 feet above our heads.

We needed to climb that mountain today and I'm glad we did.

It's Ellen-eve Once Again!!

Yes folks, Ellen-eve is upon us. The cool summer evening just before my birthday. A time for reflection and gratitude. Also a time for resolutions for the new year.

Well, I did realize a few big resolutions. I left my job for a more peaceful and low key environment. With the economic downturn, it is difficult to find any college/university that is experiencing peace and tranquility but where I'm at is pretty good overall.

I moved to Strawberry Fields and into a real life apartment...which we continue to acclimate to. Ben still has his mattress in our room. His bedroom is just too darn far away for his liking.

Now I have to sit down and figure out what my hopes, wishes and dreams are for the approaching year.

I have decided however that this year's theme is:

Sacajawea!

More to come. And I wish all of you a wonderful Ellen-eve, filled with good health and happiness!!

EVI - Back on the Block

I'm not sure if any of my beloved fellow bloggers are still checking in with ole EVI. If so, just want to apologize for my extended absence.

July was a very rough month that included a major move, a sudden and sad death and major let down. Right now we are enjoying the final days of a few weeks in Truro (Cape Cod).

Promise not to bore you to tears when I get back on Sunday.

Hoping you are all in good health and good spirits. Look forward to reading up on your blogs.

XO EVI