Friday, August 12, 2005

A Golden Calf by Any Other Name....

If Moses chose to appear and drag those two stone tablets to my door anytime between Memorial Day to Labor Day, he’d witness me violating the first commandment with a religious fervor that easily matched his own. For it is during this time of year that I do knowingly and willingly “place and worship another God” between me and Yahweh.

It’s my air conditioner. I love it. I love it more than I love some of my friends. It’s something I never take for granted and praise the glory of each time I return from the hot and stinkin’ city streets into my little cool apartment.

Secretly, I’ve often thought that time should be measured Before Air Conditioning and After Air Conditioning.

I once had a brief relationship with someone who chose not to have an air conditioner. It wasn’t a question of money or weather. He just never got around to it. It was at that precise moment that I knew we could never have a future together.

There are some things in life you can’t compromise on. Air conditioning is one of them.

I’ve never had central air conditioning but I’m hopeful that if I continue to be a good person and serve others as best I can – I may just arrive on that heavenly shore.


east village idiot said...

A car caught on fire outside my job today. The streets smell like aged head cheese. Moses would have stayed up on the mountain until it cooled off. He wouldn't catch you worshipping false idols. He is also a big supporter of the NRA and wouldn't like your 'guns kill people' poster.

- Bill Thompson
V.P. for Marketing
Atlas Fan Co.

Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

Forgive me, blog gods, for I am guilty of the sins of covetousness and jealousy, as I am just a lowly person without air-conditioning.


jodi said...

After spending two weeks in rural New Hampshire in cabins without air conditioning I am now home in Virginia with my AC and I say Yipee!!

east village idiot said...

Mr. Thompson hmmmm....

That's an interesting shot with you and George W. Is that a Talbot's outfit?

Hh - Please get an airconditioner. You really deserve one!

Jar - AC in Virginia is like extending your vacation another two weeks.

Most southerners have already figured out that when it's hotter than hell you should find relief. I spent 13 years in New England where people try to out - un - air - conditioner each other like some act of machismo. Go Figure. Virginia is a beautiful state.

Kranki said...

It is the little things that make life worth living.

Leelee said...

True story. (sadly not my true story) I know someone in a new relationship. He asked her if she wanted to go back to his place and she said not if you still don't have an AC. With out discussion or hesitation he drove straight to P.C. Richards. I'm sure they got it on that night (is that too risqué for a blog? if so I apologize) I think your idea of measuring time before AC and after AC (BAC, AAC) is a great one. I'm sure birthrates have jumped in March and April in the years after AC. Without it, July and August are off limits