Saturday, March 17, 2007

Beautiful Boy

About a month ago, a doctor suggested I send Ben to see a specialist about a blemish on his mid-back that seemed to be hard with the hint of something larger under it. We went to the specialist who then directed us to a surgeon. The surgeon confirmed that Ben either had a cyst or a tumor and that it needed to be removed and tested.

Until this point, Ben had never been to a hospital or emergency room other than the day he was born. He has never taken prescription drugs. He's almost nine. It never occurred to me how lucky we were.

I was with Ben during the surgical procedure - - we squeezed hands as the surgeon inserted a huge needle about three or four inches into his back (at an angle). The pain was intense followed by the anesthetic that burned until it numbed the area. I clenched his hand and stared into his eyes the whole time. He didn't cry or scream - - he sucked it up just like I have in those situations and braved it out. I saw a side of him I'd never known before. Perhaps it was new to him too. It was a trait we both share. I'm not sure what I think about that.

The biopsy report finally came through on Friday afternoon indicating no malignancy.
There are no words to describe the relief and thankfulness my husband and I feel right now. I am very aware that not all parents receive such news (as I witnessed during my first visit to the surgeon).

Of course Ben has no idea of what this week was all about. He's just indignant that the stitches across his back are preventing him from engaging in gym, recess kickball and BASEBALL. In his mind, this whole situation is an exercise in adult ineptitude. "Of course nothing is wrong with me Mommy! I could have told you without getting my back split open for crying out loud!"


Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you. As a parent, I know just how intense that whole process was--and how intense your relief is. Ben sounds like a wonderful kid--and someone incredibly lucky to have wonderful parents like you and your husband.

Michael said...


I'm really, really glad everything worked out. I can relate to the whole situation in ways I think you know. I'm really happy for you and Ben!

ellesu said...

I'm so very happy for you all. So very, very happy.

Michael said...

Hey EVI,

The comment I posted above really bothered me. I wrote that I can relate to the WHOLE situation you faced with Ben. Never having been a parent, and with the window on parenthood closing for me, the fact is that I can't relate to the anxiety and dread that only parents can experience when a child faces such a potential threat. I can empathize, but I can't relate, if that makes sense.

I know you took my original comment in the spirit in which it was made, so I guess this clarification is more for me than it is for you. It's just that I want to make it clear that I can ONLY imagine the dread you and your husband went through.

I'm trying to be more accurate -- more heartfelt -- in my speech and writing, and this effort at weaning myself off empty stock phrases is a start.

east village idiot said...

terry b - thank you for such kind words. I hope to live up to them.

michael - don't you dare apologize. you certainly can relate. and the window for parenthood is a window that is jammed open. i know that you're a copy editor so you want your words to be precise. but sometimes words just don't get us to where we need to be. I know you understood and it's very generous of you to share in my relief. i look forward to having relief about you!

OHN said...

Geez mom..all you had to do was ask him! As a mom to 3 sons, I am reminded (by them) on a daily basis that they know everything! Whew thankfully my job as a mom is done ;)

(I only hope I live long enough for them to each have kids of their own :) Sweet revenge.

Glad for you that it was all ok. The only times in my life I have been completely disoriented is when I have been faced with the potential of a serious problem with one of my kids. I know now what my mom used to mean when she used to tell me that she wished she had, instead of me having, whatever I was sick with.

Anonymous said...

No wonder why you wanted to cry in an earlier post. I am so happy that everything turned out well. He sounds like such a great little boy.

Kranki said...

Well, WHEW! I am so glad it was all good news. And Ben is obviosly one tough and extremely well adjusted kid. WOO BEN!

Linda said...

woohoo! go Ben! what a brave young man. when i was his age i had a cist removed from my leg (benign) and a large mole removed from my mid-back (also benign) and i was scared to death... i'm sure he was a much better sport than i.

btw -- i too am sad to leave the east village. i really feel at home with the people here. but honestly, my apt situation really has become miserably disgusting in the last few weeks. they are doing a lot of renovations in the apts that surround my building and as a result, we have had a HUGE problem with mice and cockroaches (ones that fly!) -- and believe it or not, the cockroaches are almost beating the mice in size! in fact, i was watching ugly betty tonight (as i just found out they have episodes online!) and one was nice enough to fly down onto my leg! OMG, i have a really bad phobia at this point, and i swear everyone on E 10th street knows when i see one (my screams are quite impressive). i will be relieved to be rid of creatures. luckily we never had a problem until recently. at least the mice are under control (at least you can smush the life out of cockroaches!) ok, enough with my apt problems... don't worry -- i'll be back often, i'm sure. all my favorite spots are down here!

Dr. Deb said...

So glad it was benign. It can be SO scary when your little one goes through such things. You are a rockin' cool mother.

Linda said...

psst... i nominated EVI for the thinking blog award. Check it out --